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Believe what you want of this...

This arrived through a shadowy secret channel of communication known to initiates as "the Intranet". It appears to be a pastiche or parody of secret messages transmitted by the underground cell known as Reclaim the Streets through the subversive tactic of chatting in pubs on Tuesday nights, which though it dates as far back as Joe Hill and the Wobblies is fully understood only by several million trades unionists and militant self-described "ladies' darts teams".

Those sinister messages - which are so mysterious and shocking that the Sunday Times Insightprobegrope team is clearly too busy investgating them to offer the usual full-page coverage - include the claim that May Day "is not a protest" and strong requests to anyone who fancies flinging flagons to do it elsewhere.

Plotters plan mayhem for Mayday

It has been brought to our attention that a group calling itself the "Metropolitan Police", backed by corporate financiers and members of Parliament, intend to purposely harass and intimidate the anti-capitalist "MayDay 2000" festival that ends on 1 May with mass actions around London.

Other anti-capitalist days of action like J18 and N30 were both suppressed [some exaggeration, surely] by these shadowy thugs, who have been holding secret meetings with other troublemakers, most notably a group calling themselves the "City Police "- responsible for the most violent scenes at last year's "Carnival Against Capital" in the City of London. They have also been known to use the Internet to further their aims, organising campaigns of intimidation against individuals. This group's website is characterised by its malicious use of photographs, accompanied by unfounded and damaging allegations

We are making it clear to anybody carrying offensive weapons such as extendable batons, CS gas and handcuffs that they are not welcome to attend the MayDay event or future events. Paramilitary style clothing such as helmets, big black boots and shields are also banned. If people must bring pets we regret that horses, especially when ridden at high speed into crowds, are best left at home.

We therefore reiterate - we do not want any violence against people who are resisting capitalism. and taking control of their lives.

Updated
26 Apr 1897

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